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Sunday 27 February 2005

The A-Z of what IRA/SF really are

'WE are an all-Ireland party, a united Ireland party," Gerry Adams announced in County Meath last week in support of Sinn Fein's ex-convict candidate, Joe 'Bullet' Reilly. "This gives the electorate the opportunity to show their view of that." 

Oh, don't be so modest, Gerry. SF/IRA is so much more than that. Your rough beast - with 'gaze blank and pitiless as the sun' - that has slouched South is also the Angry and Antagonistic (towards the British, unionists, the SDLP, the Irish state, media and community critics, etc. etc.), Bigoted and Bombing (Abercorn tearoom, La Mon, Enniskillen, Guildford, Birmingham, Teebane, Canary Wharf, etc. etc.), Cruel and Cop-killing (Jerry McCabe and almost 300 others). 

Deluded (you think you're the Irish government) and Defrauding-of-taxpayers-and-businesses (e.g. Celtic Football Club), Exploitative and Environmentally raping (illegal dumping, stream-poisoning). 

Fundamentalist and Fascist (power sought through violence, vote-stealing, black propaganda and suppression of free speech). 

Gruesome and Greedy (£26.5m just added to the fortune you keep for yourselves), Humourless and Hypocritical (where would I begin?), Intimidating and International-narco-terrorist-assisting (FARC). 

Jean McConville killing-and-secretly-burying and Justice-impeding (eventual grudging partial climbdown on the butchering of Robert McCartney in response to public pressure notwithstanding). 

Killing and Knee-capping (children not exempt), Laundering (money) and Lying ("I was never in the IRA"), Mutilating and Murdering (still at it). 

Negotiating-in-bad-faith and Necrophiliac (worshipping your dead and spitting on everyone else's), Oppressing and Orwellian (peace means war and love means hate). 

Ponderous and Pompous (especially Caoimhghin O Caolain), Querulous and Quisling (you celebrate Sean Russell, who wanted a Nazi invasion). 

Rafia and Revisionist (e.g. claiming descent from the monarchist, anti-violence Sinn Fein of 1906; transmogrifying your failed attempt to terrify unionists intoa United Ireland into acampaign for justice and equality). 

Sectarian and Smuggling (whatever will 'Slab' Murphy and his South Armagh bandits do if they get a United Ireland - run customs and excise?), Thugocratic and Taxing (extracting levies from drug-dealers and ordinary criminals). 

Upwardly-mobile (your leaders, not your followers) and Unrepentant ("our crimes weren't criminal"), Venomous and Victimhood-embracing (though you killed 1,779 and lost only 292), Widow-making and Whinging (about everything), eXtorting and eXiling (the poor and defenceless). 

Youth-torturing and Youth-brainwashing (training them to hate, riot, harm and kill), Zippo-counterfeiting (yes, I know dealing in dodgy lighters is the least of your sins, but I was stuck) party. 

What will be the electorate's view of that? 

Hume/Adams were the names linked to what became a fatally appeasing process. Irish democracy, subverted and threatened, may yet be saved by Conroy/McDowell - Garda Commissioner and Minister for Justice.

Ruth Dudley Edwards

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